Once upon a time, in a land of pine tree forests and other interesting attractions…
… there lived a Green Lady, and in her country it was forbidden to speak the name “Victor.” The reason for this was that the land was inhabited by tiny purple snails, who were viscous and poisonous and each one of their names was Victor. Not Victor 1 or Victor 2, Victor 85 or even Victor Alpha or Beta or C or D or whatever you want to call it. There was no way to tell them apart. It was just Victor. And if you spoke the forbidden name, you would quickly find yourself being swarmed by a plethora of mean little snails until you couldn't breathe anymore. I hear it's a very, very unpleasant experience.
Now our Green Lady was named so for a couple of reasons, the first of which was that she was obviously green in color, and she pulled it off rather well. The second reason was that every day she would walk through the pine tree forests and her smile would bring new life to the pine trees and the little plants that lived there, and they were very, very appreciative of this. And since pine trees don't smile back, all they could do was just shine more green.
One day our Green Lady was walking through said forest and she happened upon a lizard. He appeared from behind the trees and promptly introduced himself as Ralph. He took her hand and he began to tell her of all the great things he had done and all the great things he was capable of and what a great friend he would make. She was very surprised and very happy of this, as anyone is when they find a new friend. After a couple minutes of boasting about himself, he gripped her hand tighter, looked her in the eye, and with a sick smile he began to scream out the forbidden name several times. After this long breath of just the forbidden name being spoken, he darted off into the woods, never to be seen again by the Green Lady. Before she knew it, she was swarmed by the purple snails. It got to a point where she could no longer breathe. They just kept coming out of nowhere.
But from the forest, two other lizards appeared and decided to save the day. Their names were Ringo and Guatemala. And as they were running toward the Green Lady, they were singing out a song they had made up on the spot: “Ringo and Guatemala, the twoe so brave. Fear not, Green Lady! We will chase those snails away.”
Our two heroes climbed on top of the Green Lady and began to forcibly remove the snails that had piled themselves onto her. After a couple of minutes, she was finally free. They sat on the ground littered with bits and pieces of the purple snails. She smile, took a deep breath and gave it back. She thanked Ringo and Guatemala for all they had done. They looked at the Green Lady and they asked her if she would join them on their way and become their good friend. In return for her friendship, they would protect her from any snails that would ever come across her way again. And they promised and swore to her that if they ever found the lizard named Ralph, he would wind up like one of the snails. And to this she didn't really know what to say except, “Thank you.” She accepted their offer. So they went along their way, and as their new friendship was forged – her new protectors and their new friend – they were walking through the forest and they were singing this song:
“Ringo and Guatemala, the twoe so brave. Fear not, Green Lady! We will chase those snails away. Don't you ever speak that name, or suffer someone else to say what isn't theirs to say. Ringo and Guatemala, the twoe so brave. Our dear Green Lady, are you going our way?”
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