I'm sitting in a park, contemplating life. Yesterday, I sat on the knoll of a park (a different park) overlooking a lake, I searched my heart, and then threw my sins and concerns into the water. As the ripples spread, ducks came, young and old, to feast but shook their heads at my lack of bread. Now, I sit in a park with a fount and I consider further the catacombs of my heart.
"Who am I that you should be mindful of me?"
It's from the Psalms, but I've been reading a lot in Joshua lately, and I wonder if he ever asked that question. "Why me, Lord?" He'd grownup around Moses, oh great Moses, in the shadow of that giant's every step. He'd seen, he knew, what a man of God looked like, and now it was all up to him. Joshua. He led the people through the parted river, he read to them the law of Moses, he charged headlong with them into battle over and over and over. What a man of God, such faith and valor. But what went through his mind, what did he find in his heart, as he sat alone by the Jordan the night before they crossed it? I wonder if he asked the same questions I've been asking. I wonder if God said the same things to him as He's been saying to me.
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